When the Bell Rings
by JuJubae
Summary: The g-boys in school. Pretty simple, short, and i hope you think its as funny as my friends did. for all of you who read my first fic, this one is much better!! non-yaoi, minor language, and occasional relena-bashing. R&R pleeeaaassee!!!


Disclaimer: I don't (unfortunately) own Gundam Wing. If I did, Heero would have shot Relena in, like, the first episode ( I hate her, I hate her, I hate her) Anyway, no yaoi or romance; I can't write romance anyway. Some minor language and Relena bashing (see above). And just FYI, I'm not sure if Trowa is Latin or French, but in this fic, he's Latin.  
  
When the Bell Rings  
  
( Monday morning 8:05 am, and our fave cast is in school )  
  
1st period-History  
  
"Wufei, I'll only repeat myself once more. Did you or did you not do the  
  
assignment?" Ms. Naktu asked patiently.  
  
"What! You honestly expected me to do an assignment on why women were  
  
important in history? You must be crazy!!" Wufei exclaimed. Ms. Naktu handed him a referral slip.  
  
"INJUSTICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Wufei screamed. "Baka onna," he added under his breath as he left the room.  
  
"How about you, Trowa?" the teacher asked calmly, rolling her eyes.  
  
"---m?" Trowa looked up from gelling his hair.  
  
"Never mind" Ms. Natku muttered. She looked around the room for any other possible candidates. Quatre was reading a book titled "How to Raise Hell Without Raising Your Voice" Trowa had resumed gelling his hair, while Duo was braiding his, muttering "damn hair-ties" to himself. Heero was cleaning his gun, with a slightly amused look on his face because of Duo's predicament. Relena was starring spacily at Heero, after writing his name 100 times on a piece notebook paper. Hilde was just plain starring off into space. Ms. Natku's last shred of hope lay in Dorothy Catalonia, who had a small portable mirror propped up on her desk and was gelling her eye-brows. This is going to be a long day, thought Ms.Natku as the bell rang.  
  
2nd Period-Math  
  
"Mr.Winner, will you please put the book down?! And Mr.Barton, I believe that your hair is sufficiently gelled. You could use it as a helmet. Yes, Mr.Maxwell, I heard you the first time. Y-- OK, OK, you are Shinigami!!!" Mr.Omea sighed.  
  
"What about you, Mr.Yuy? Did you do the assignment? Or do you just want to add to this insanity?" Heero rummaged around in his binder and pulled out a slightly wrinkled, slightly blood-stained sheet of notebook paper. Mr.Omea cringed, but took the paper as Heero pulled out two pistols. Mr.Omea raised his eye-brows at the guns, but didn't say anything.  
  
Suddenly, Wufei walked through the door.  
  
"Chang Wufei!! Where were you??" Mr.Omea exclaimed.  
  
"In the damn office" Wufei said, handing him an excuse slip. He took his seat.  
  
" Did you do the homework?" Mr. Omea asked.  
  
" Erm--yeah," Wufei muttered vaguely. He handed the teacher a piece of paper.  
  
Heero was now done loading his guns and proceeded to point them at the two girls that sat on either side of him: Dorothy and Relena.  
  
"Mr. Yuy! Are those guns loaded?" Mr. Omea exclaimed.  
  
"Of course. What good would they be if they weren't?" Heero replied calmly.  
  
"Well, put them away!" the teacher said. Heero reluctantly tucked away the guns. Mr. Omea sighed with relief.  
  
"Heero, I have been waiting forever for you to kill me, so just get it over with!" Relena said, standing up and stamping her foot.  
  
"Ms. Peacecraft, did you do your homework?" Mr. Omea asked quickly, before Heero got any ideas.  
  
"What? Oh, erm---yeah," she said slightly nervously. She handed him her paper. Mr. Omea smiled, scanning the paper, and then frowned and rolled his eyes. Where numbers and equations should have been, there were words, such as:  
  
Heero  
  
+  
  
Relena  
  
=  
  
LOVE!!!  
  
and  
  
Perfect  
  
+  
  
Beautiful  
  
=  
  
Relena!!  
  
Heero, who had been looking over Mr. Omea's shoulder, rolled his eyes, gave Relena his ever-famous Death Glare (tm) and sat down. Duo walked over to see what was going on, laughed and proceeded to pretend to choke and die on the floor. None to soon for Mr. Omea, the bell rang.  
  
"Class dismissed!" Mr. Omea yelled over his shoulder as he ran out the door.  
  
3rd Period- Latin  
  
"Alright, class, you have thirty minutes to complete your tests. Begin!" Mrs. Clancy said.  
  
Heero frowned at his test and wrote down every word he could think of that sounded remotely Latin. Duo wrote down the Latin words that were on the penny, nickel and quarter that he had pulled out of his pocket as he tried to remember if he had been taught any Latin when he was a child at the church. Quatre, thinking that this was an Arabic class, wrote down the answers in Arabian. Wufei wrote BAKA ONNA for all of his answers. Trowa, being Latin, knew exactly what he was doing. After 30 minutes had gone by, Mrs. Clancy stopped them and graded the papers quickly. She posted the grades on a piece of paper on the bulletin board. Each student went up to see their score.  
  
Heero- 20 Relena- 90  
  
Duo-20 Dorothy-60  
  
Quatre-10 Hilde-85  
  
Wufei-No comment  
  
Trowa-100  
  
"Shit," all the boys muttered in unison, except for Trowa.  
  
"Study hall for the next 10 minutes," Mrs. Clancy announced. Trowa noticed that his hair was starting to droop, so he began gelling it--again. Wufei read a book. Quatre looked over his test with a confused look on his face. Heero used his study hall time to hack into the teacher section of the student computer and changed his overall average. The bell rang.  
  
4th period-Lunch  
  
  
  
"And what would you like for lunch, young man?" the lunch lady asked of Heero.  
  
*Death Glare* "Something edible," Heero replied, pulling out his gun. Duo, who was paying, excused himself from the cashier lady and walked over.  
  
"Heero, put the gun away," he said. Heero's lip curled, but he stuck his gun back into its holster. (I know he doesn't keep it in a holster, but I'm the author, so I get to say where he keeps it) The cafeteria lady quickly handed him some take-out Chinese food as Duo walked away. Heero tossed some spare change at the cashier lady and walked to the table where Wufei, Quatre, Trowa and Duo were already sitting. He sat across form Wufei.  
  
"Duo, what is that??" Quatre asked, looking horrified.  
  
"Dog barf ala mode,' Duo muttered in response. Then, he saw what Heero had. "No fair!! How come you get take-out and I have to eat this crap?  
  
"Because I bring my guns to school," Heero said with an evil little grin. Duo frowned.  
  
Quatre changed the subject. "So, what do the rest of you have for lunch? I've got a peanut butter and jelly sandwich."  
  
"Peanut butter is for weaklings," Wufei muttered. "I have mushu pork."  
  
"Ham and cheese," Trowa replied bleakly.  
  
Heero looked over at Duo, who was still poking at his turkey ala king, a.k.a. 'dog barf'. With a slightly disgruntled look on his face, Heero handed Duo an eggroll, which he took gratefully. The bell rang.  
  
  
  
5th period-English  
  
"Isn't anyone going to volunteer? Don't any of you know the material?" Mrs. Biemke practically screamed.  
  
Heero raised his hand. "It's not that we don't know it; we just don't feel the need to tell you the answer. You're the teacher, after all."  
  
Mrs. Biemke sat down. "Can't you people even pretend to act normal?" she exclaimed.  
  
Duo thought about it for a second. "Nope," he volunteered, taking off his sunglasses. "Defiantly not."  
  
"Oh, God!!! Just--um--take this time to do your homework, or something."  
  
  
  
30 minutes later-  
  
BRIIIINNNGGGG  
  
"Thank God!!! Class dismissed!"  
  
  
  
6th period-Science  
  
  
  
"Mr. Yuy, how many times do I have to tell you? Shooting the already exploding experiment with a pistol does not make the situation any better," Mr. Kasagi said with a sigh after putting the fire extinguisher down. "For one thing, guns are not allowed at school. Two, weren't you paying any attention? I said not to add the oxygen compound yet!"  
  
*Death Glare*  
  
"Well, if I can't bring my guns to school, can I bring my knife collection?" Heero asked. He knew that no matter what any teacher said, he would bring his guns to school. Also, his knife collection was in his locker.  
  
"No, you can't," the teacher replied dryly. 'Too late--' Heero thought.  
  
"Well, now that the fire has been successfully put out--thanks go to Mr. Yuy for the lovely firework show, by the way--we will begin working on the models I told you about last time. Remember, this may be your project, but you need to make it at least remotely close to science. After all, this is science class," Mr. Kasagi said. He looked around the room. "Any questions?" he asked. Upon seeing that everyone had begun working, he walked over to his desk, sat down, and began looking through the papers that told him what everyone was doing for their projects. Heero was doing a report on how to clean a gun. The teacher looked up at Heero, who was just sitting there,  
  
"Mr. Yuy, I'm giving you class time to work on this, so I suggest you use it."  
  
"But I already have a model! I'm using a real gun," Heero argued.  
  
"Then write your report," Mr. Kasagi said exasperatedly.  
  
"Mission accepted," Heero replied. The teacher rolled his eyes and moved on to the next paper. "How Sandstorms Affect Pacifism in Arabia" by Quatre Winner. A small model of his home town and real sand were to accompany his report. The teacher frowned and moved on. "Advanced Nursing" By Sally Po. She would be using a Barbie doll to demonstrate. 'Finally, a normal report' he thought. He smiled. then rolled his eyes at the next report, "Why Women are Weak" by Chang Wufei, with another Barbie doll to prove his point. Mr. Kasagi sighed at the next report, which was titled "Why I am Better than Everyone Else" by none other than-- (if you can't finish this sentence, then I command you to go watch all of the Gundam Wing episodes in order!! In fact, watch them all anyway) The writer of this report was planning on using her crown. 'Ok, next' thought Mr. Kaksagi. "How hair Gel can Affect Gymnastics" by Trowa Barton, using a 'Grow his own Hair Ken doll'. Next. Dorothy's report was "How to Stick your Finger Behind your Eyebrow". Mr. Kasagi was looking forward to that one. "How to make a decent Plastic Explosive". Duo was going to make his model and take it apart during his demonstration. Finally, Noin's report. It was entitled "Zechs" and she was going to use, well, Zechs to demonstrate. The bell rang.  
  
  
  
7th period-Gym  
  
  
  
"Down! Set! Spike!" Coach Sato yelled. In frustration, both Heero and Zechs pulled out their guns and shot the already sinking ball.  
  
"Well, that was the most idiotic thing I've ever--" the coach started, but Trowa interrupted him.  
  
"Heero, Zechs, I don't know if you've ever been told this before, but it is both idiotic and selfish to shoot the volleyball. For one thing, it doesn't do any good. The first one to shoot the ball does not win a prize. Also, no one will ever be able to used that ball again. Weren't you taught in kindergarten not to destroy public property? Or did you miss that day?" Trowa asked. The gym was silent. The only sound to be heard was the clunking of jaws as they hit the floor. Trowa had never ever spoken more than 2 sentences in a row, with the exception of when he was telling Quatre not to keep on blowing up the colonies. Trowa looked around the room with a confused look on his face, then shrugged. He served a new ball, which bounced off of Wufei's head.  
  
"People WAKE UP!!!" Trowa yelled. He repeated himself 37 times before the bell rang. HE was the only one who left the building on time. The rest were there until morning.  
  
THE END  
  
  
  
A/N-ok, did that suck as much as I think it did? Oh well. I don't mind flames, but give me reasons people!!! If I get enough good reviews, I'll do another episode. They might just have to give their reports next time.........who knows?? Heehee.........ok, well ja ne!  
  
JuJubae 


End file.
